How to support someone with suicidal thoughts: A beginner’s guide

Supporting someone who’s struggling with suicidal thoughts can feel daunting. You might worry about saying the wrong thing or making things worse. But in Australia, where over 3 million people have experienced suicidal thoughts and affected communities continue to grow, early connection and compassionate support can change lives.

Here’s a trusted, easy-to-follow guide to help you support a loved one or colleague, with kindness, understanding, and confidence.

 

1. Recognise the warning signs

People thinking about suicide often show changes in behaviour before they voice suicidal thoughts. Keep an eye out for:

• Emotional cues: expressing hopelessness, feeling like a burden, or sudden calm after distress. 
• Behavioural changes: new withdrawal, skipping commitments, giving away belongings. 
• Physical signals: sleep problems, poor self-care, or unexplainable cuts or bruises.  
• Verbal hints: “I can’t cope,” “I want to die,” or directly referencing suicide. 

If you notice any of these signs, trust your instincts. Even small changes can be important.

 

2. Start the conversation – gently but directly

There’s a common fear that talking about suicide could make things worse. But research shows it actually helps. Here’s how to begin:

• Find a calm, private space: Where your friend can speak openly without feeling rushed.
• Use observations: “I’ve noticed you’ve been really quiet lately and I’m worried.” Ask directly: “Are you thinking about suicide?” When asked compassionately, it’s often a relief. 

Take a breath, stay present, and remember, asking won’t make things worse.

 

3. Listen without judgement

Once they open up, let them talk. Active, empathetic listening can make someone feel less isolated.

• Give them space to speak: Don’t interrupt or offer quick fixes.
• Use supportive language: “It sounds like things are really tough right now.” 
• Reflect back their feelings: “I can’t imagine how hard that’s been.” 

Remember: you don’t have to solve their problems, being heard is powerful in itself.

 

4. Check risk and take action

It’s simple but crucial:

• Ask if they have a plan: “Do you know how you’d do it?” 
• Escalate if needed: If immediate risk is present, call emergency services, or take them to hospital.
• Stay with them until help arrives.

It’s better to act and be safe than risk delay.

 

5. Help them get support

Suicidal thoughts usually don’t resolve alone. Here’s how you can support them afterward:

• Offer help with appointments: Encourage them to visit their GP or counsellor, and offer to accompany them. 
• Create a safety plan together: Use tools like BeyondNow app or simple written steps. 
• Link them to 24/7 crisis lines:
  • Lifeline: 13 11 14 
  • Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467 
  • Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636 
  • Kids Helpline (5–25 yrs): 1800 55 1800 

Stay connected: check in regularly even after crisis services are involved.

 

6. Look after yourself, Too

Taking care of someone in crisis is heavy work,  you’re not alone, and you don’t have to carry it solo:

• Share the load: Enlist others to help support your friend. 
• Keep your own support: Talk to a trusted friend or seek professional help if you feel overwhelmed. 
• Use crisis lines for yourself: You can contact Lifeline or others even if it’s for your own support.

 

Why it works, and why it matters

Active and compassionate support can interrupt the isolation that often fuels suicidal thoughts. According to survivors, feeling heard and having their feelings validated can be a turning point.

By starting the conversation, listening without judgment, and ensuring they’re connected to help, you’re not just saving lives, you’re offering hope.

 

Next steps: build skills and confidence

If you’d like to feel more prepared, Suicide Programs offers courses like CALM and Be Well, Stay Well that teach how to respond empathetically and safely to suicidal thoughts. These programs are Australian‑based, evidence‑informed, and tailored to real‑world scenarios.

Visit Suicide Programs to learn more about our training and how you can make a difference, one conversation at a time.

 

You’re not alone, and neither are they

Support isn’t about having all the right words. It’s about showing up, caring genuinely, and being there consistently. With awareness, empathy, and informed action, you can become part of the safety net that helps someone move from crisis to connection and from despair to hope.